Wetlands Poster

Synopsis courtesy of IMDB: The adventures of an eccentric girl who has strange attitudes towards hygiene and sexuality longs for the reunion of her divorced parents.

Wetlands is a German film that is unlike any movie I have ever seen. It takes multiple genres and completely flips them upside down while shaking violently. It’s a romantic comedy of sorts that involves the graphic exchange of two used tampons between girls. That makes it seem like a total gross-out film but I assure you it’s not.

Wetlands 6

Our main character Helen played by Carla Juri is the true embodiment of a female that could care less about pretty much everything. I’m not talking about your typical hipster that doesn’t care how they look but spends hours on their hair trying to get the “messy” look. Helen doesn’t care about hygiene to the point that she smears her lady parts on dirty toilet seats for pleasure. While the movie is sprinkled with various scenes that made me question the sanity of the person that thought them up it also tells a touching story.

Helen clearly has some growing up to do but she’s going to do it her own way. And that’s not to say at the end of the movie she’s figured everything out; it’s not that kind of movie. We merely get to see a sliver of what life with Helen is like and how she has coped with some issues from her past. She’s a young girl that just wants her divorced parents to get back together. It’s just like The Parent Trap except it’s the most NSFW movie you’ll ever watch that isn’t porn.

I don’t want to spoil any of the other hidden gems in this movie but I will provide you with this one.


That’s Christoph Letkowski, isn’t he adorable? He plays Robin who is Helen’s nurse after she undergoes a troubling surgery. He’s the only character in the movie that can truly keep up with her and their scenes are some of the best.

Wetlands 5

Wetlands really has everything going for it. Carla Juri is phenomenal with her shaggy curly hair and chipped nail polish. Her performance is the kind that makes you keep asking who the hell this girl is. The music is without a doubt one of the highlights. Something disgusting might be happening on screen but you can bet a great song is going to be playing in the background. For the viewer, it really takes you for a ride as you are conflicted by your what your eyes and ears are offering you. Not to mention, the movie just looks spectacular. The colors pop and lighting is always on point making Helen even more endearing.

Wetlands 4

So, do yourself a favor and check it out since Netflix has it streaming. I mean, if you’re in to that whole reading your movies thing.

Final thoughts: Is this what all German cinema is like? If so, I’m totes in.